Now, let me just get this straight.
You're telling me that today is the only day we can have this meeting,
which happens to be Christmas Eve
and also my daughter's birthday, thank you very much.
Let's play geography. California.
Arkansas. Arkansas?
Does that end with an "A" or a "W"?
An "S."
Saudi Arabian Desert.
You already used Saudi Arabia.
Not the desert.
What's going on?
Timbuktu. Okay, you just made that up.
I did not. It's a real place.
Fine.
"U", "U..." What starts with "U"?
Up. Up? Up isn't a place.
Yes, it is.
It's up there.
You're such a dork.
That's better.
What's their story?
Those poor boys.
The woman, Annie Binkow,
is the owner of the traveling circus where the boys work.
Their mother is the fat lady,
and their father swallows swords and tames lions.
Name of the circus? Annie's Big Top Spectacular
and Lion Extravaganza.
The performers are forced to entertain alien children
who have three heads and six feet.
And aliens don't applaud like us, you know.
What do they do instead? They tap dance.
Coolest story ever.
Well, that was a total waste of time.
They actually wanted me to mount a musical about teenage vampires.
I mean, who in their right mind wants to go to the theater
and watch a lot of singing vampires?
(BOTH LAUGH)
Well, that looks like it must've been delicious.
I didn't eat it all by myself.
We shared it.
Well, honey, I think maybe you've had enough. Time to go.
But we're celebrating my birthday. Thank you.
Hurry up. We've certainly spent enough time here.
Are you okay?
Remember when I was little
and I thought if I closed my eyes that nobody could see me?
Yeah.
I wish I still believed that.
Don't look now, but I see the prettiest girl I've ever seen in my whole life.
Where?
To your left, but don't look too fast.
I bet she's pretty tired of people staring at her all the time.
A little more.
Do you know why we get your birthday present at Tiffany's every year?
Because it's our favorite store,
and a girl should never depend on a man to buy her jewelry.
Quite right. You are the only person you can count on in this world.
What people call true love is only for fairytales and greeting cards.
She's wrong.
Real love, true love lasts forever and ever. It never goes away.
Come on, let's go get something gorgeous.
It's beautiful. I know.
Look at that diamond.
It sparkles so much.
Look at that big one.
Excuse me, sir. Do you work here?
I'm looking for the most beautiful jewelry in the entire store.
Can you help me? Okay, that's great. Show me everything you have.
Come on, let's go see over here.
Look at that. Look at that, Michael.
It's so yellow.
It's so me. Would you like to try something on?
Yes, please. I'd like that one.
Wonderful choice.
Okay.
There you go.
It's so beautiful.
She's gonna love this.
Yes, I love it. Don't you, Michael? It's so beautiful.
Your daughter is so imaginative.
We're a very theatrical family. It's so yellow and pretty.
Shall I wrap it up for you?
I wish.
When you grow up and get married, that will be your wedding ring.
It's yellow. You're supposed to wear a diamond when you get married.
That's the rule. Some rules were made to be broken.
You should have a ring that tells the world you are Jane. You're special.
That's a yellow diamond. It's very special.
Perfect. In that case, it really is your ring.
It's almost 5:15. I'll be double digits.
Ten years old. The age of awareness.
The year you start making your own decisions. The year you...
The year you start to let go of your childhood.
What are you talking about?
You're ready to stand on your own two feet.
It's time for me to go.
Go where?
I'm going to have to leave at 5:15, the moment you were born.
What?
Why? For how long?
Forever.
No, you can't do that.
We're only allowed to stay until our child turns 10.
After that, all imaginary friends have to leave.
That's not fair.
You'll be okay. You're smart and creative and strong.
Why didn't you tell me this was gonna happen?
I tried. I looked for the perfect moment. It just never seemed to be the right time.
I won't let you leave. I forbid it.
I don't have a choice. It's the rules.
You said rules were made to be broken.
Not this one.
I want to come with you.
You can't.
This is the first place we met, so this is the place we have to say goodbye.
But I'll miss you too much.
After I'm gone, you won't even remember me.
But you're the only one who knows everything about me.
You're my best friend in the whole world.
I love you.
I love you, too.
You're crying.
I've never seen you cry.
I am?
You're in my heart. Love is never being apart.
Michael! Michael! Michael! Michael!
Michael!
Wait! Open! Hey, what is it?
Open the door, please! I have to get something!
What's wrong? Michael's in there!
Your son? No, no, no. It's nothing, it's nothing.
It's just her imaginary friend.
No! He's real! He's in there!
Look.
There he is. There's your little friend. Hi, Michael.
He's gone, and he's never coming back.
Look what I got you.
I got you this beautiful necklace that you can wear forever.
Now, maybe this is for the best.
Maybe you don't need him anymore.
I do need you, Michael.
Jane!
I know.
Jane, what are you doing over there?
Get over here.
It's vintage. I love it.
Do you want to borrow my wedding dress?
That is very sweet, but I've got things under control.
Really? That's not what you said last week.
I can't believe you're marrying Dr. Sellars.
He's not Dr. Sellars anymore.
He'll always be Dr. Sellars to me.
Every Tuesday night, 9:00, the doctor was in.
These are presents for my beautiful bridesmaids.
I hope you like them. It's beautiful.
Okay. Let's get this party started. Do it.
Tequila.
To Jane. ALL: To Jane.
And Hugh. ALL: And Hugh.
(PHONE RINGING)
(ANSWERING MACHINE TONE)
Hey, Jane, don't forget to watch me on Good Morning, New York.
I go on at 9:30 or something. I'll meet you after. Love you.
I went to see your play Barrymore Speaks last week,
and I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Thank you. Yeah, the theater is a new medium for me and...
But I had great material to work with.
And being so close to the audience and feeling their immediate response,
it's intoxicating.
Now, so many people still think of you as cardiac surgeon Dr. Mark Sellars
from the hit primetime series Emergency Heights.
(APPLAUSE) Thank you. Thank you. Wow.
Does that bother you at all? How could it?
It was a great role to play and it's in reruns all over the world.
(ANSWERING MACHINE TONE)
Hello, dear. It's your mother. Just a gentle reminder.
I just think it's astonishing that you haven't finished planning your wedding.
A wedding, I might add, that will take place in less than 30 days.
There's a surprise on Page Six for you this morning. You're welcome.
Do you know what they call it in Hong Kong?
(SPEAKING CANTONESE)
Do you know what that means? INTERVIEWER: No.
Well, it means "very handsome doctor."
This is Jane Claremont again.
My shower still isn't working, so I would really appreciate it
if you could stop by and take a look at it, okay?
And if I don't hear from you this time,
I will be forced to lodge a complaint with the plumbers' union
or the Better Business Bureau. Okay, thanks so much. Bye.
Hello, sweetheart. Hello, Mrs. Greenberg. Hello, Coco.
I am gonna pick up treats for you on the way home.
That's so sweet of you, dear.
Without them, he gets anxious and despondent.
I know he does. Okay, have a great day. You, too.
Good morning, beautiful neighbor.
Thank you.
Fifteen, 17, 19, 21, 28.
Bonus number is 24. You remembered.
Well, you play the same numbers every week. All of your wives' birthdays.
And I got lucky with all of them.
You've written an autobiography. Yes.
It's about to be released.
Now, you're so young.
What made you decide to write about your life at this point?
I feel like I'm several chapters into my life now,
and I wanted to put down on paper the me that I've been
on the way to becoming the me I'll be.
One last thing before I let you go. Okay.
You're engaged. Yes.
You proposed to your fiancée, Jane Claremont, live
on The Tonight Show six months ago.
Was that planned? Was it a spur of the moment thing?
Meredith, if being in love is something that can be planned,
then, yes, it was spur of the moment.
Good morning, Mrs. Morrison. It's ready.
I'm not Mrs. Morrison just yet.
It's so beautiful.
Thank you so much for getting it done so fast.
My pleasure.
So what's it like? Excuse me?
What's it like being engaged to Hugh Morrison?
Is he just like Dr. Sellars on Emergency Heights?
So romantic. He's your soul mate, isn't he?
Your one true love? The man that completes you?
Well, yeah. I mean, I guess, if there is such a thing as a soul mate, he would be mine.
Thank you so much. You're welcome.
(CAR SCREECHING AND HONKING)
Hey! What are you doing?
(CAR HONKING)
Come on!
Get out of the street!
Are you talking to me?
Yeah, I'm talking to you! I don't see anyone else standing there!
You can see me?
Yeah, I can see you, nut job!
Come on! Get the hell out of the way! Move it!
Rockefeller Center, please.
Be totally honest. How was I? Are you kidding?
I thought Meredith was gonna jump over and sit in your lap.
You were wonderful.
Dr. Sellars. Why do they always bring up ancient history?
Why can't they just focus on my new work?
She talked about the book and the play.
Yeah, I know, but...
Look. Wow.
I got it sized.
That is a beautiful ring. Yeah.
Someone must love you very much.
See us on Page Six? I know. I'm sorry.
My mother loves to use you for publicity for the theater.
No, I think it's cute.
Speaking of my book, Little, Brown Publishing called.
They want me to read an excerpt of it before the signing at Barnes & Noble.
That's so exciting. I know, right?
(SHIVERS)
Honey, I told you to wear a heavier coat. You're gonna get sick.
I know. I know.
Okay, I have to go to the theater.
How are the wedding plans going? Almost done.
Good. Everything's gonna be perfect. I can't wait to make you my wife.
I love you. Bye. Love you more.
You did this? You're welcome.
I still have a few connections with the press.
What makes you think that I want a picture of me and Hugh
kissing in the newspaper?
We need all the publicity we can get.
We're sold out until the end of the run. I know.
Isn't it wonderful?
You know, I was thinking, maybe we should just extend for six weeks,
taking a break for the wedding and the honeymoon and all that,
and then come back in January for a really limited run.
I think that Hugh made it very clear that he wants to be available for films.
Well, we'll just have to take that risk.
I mean, if he gets a movie, we'll hire someone else.
Does George Clooney do stage? Oh, my God!
You've got the ring.
It's stunning.
Tell me you found the dress. I found the dress.
I really think that the Vera Wang was perfect.
Fact, Cameron Diaz actually tried it on. Rumor, she's engaged.
Question, I heard that she dated Hugh Morrison a couple years ago.
I'll ask him and get back to you.
Statement, my mom and I love him. You are so lucky to be marrying him.
I like it. It's just, there's something that's not right about it,
and it has to be perfect.
I know. You've tried every dress on in the salon, three times.
I know. I'm sorry. I just... I can't decide.
No, I'm sorry. My lunch hour's only so long
and my next patient is 15 and still dresses like SpiderMan.
I gotta go. Good luck.
Thanks. You, too.
Hi. Jane?
Yeah.
I'm sorry. Have we met before?
No one ever remembers me after I leave.
Wait a minute. Was it at the... The thing last week...
We were best friends when you were a little girl.
So we went to school together? Yeah, I went with you every day.
I helped you study. We...
Long division was a nightmare for me always, but you always got it right away.
Okay, we made a volcano out of clay one time.
And we put dry ice,
and we put Pop Rocks inside of it, and it erupted all over the classroom.
And Mr. Lee, he choked on his coffee and it came shooting out of his nose.
Wow, it's so great to see you again.
Yeah, it's great to see you again.
Jacqueline, I'm telling you, I've seen him twice
in different parts of the city and now he's here.
The guy is definitely stalking me.
Stalking you? Are you sure? It's probably just a coincidence.
Is he cute?
Well, yeah, but what difference does that make?
I mean, Ted Bundy was kind of cute, right?
Okay, he's gone. All right.
Yeah, I know. It's so weird.
Jane... Got to go. Why are you following me?
Answer me right now, or I will mace you.
That's a PEZ dispenser. You still love candy.
Do you remember freezing Milk Duds and melting them in hot milk?
It's the best. Why are you here?
I don't know. I only can assume it's because you need me.
So what's wrong? How can I help you, Jane?
No, no, no. I can assure you that I do not need you.
And if you don't leave me alone, I'm calling 911.
Do you remember when we called 911 because your goldfish Charlie died?
Paramedics were not happy. How did you know that?
I... No.
Don't answer that, because I want you to leave me alone.
You've grown into a beautiful woman, Jane.
That's it. I am calling the police.
Jane, Jane, it's me.
Your imaginary friend from age five and threequarters to 10.
Yes, well, am I being punk'd right now? Because this is weird.
Are there hidden cameras? Is this a reality show?
Listen, the carousel in Central Park. You always had to have the pink pony.
What little girl didn't want the pink pony?
I always rode behind you.
Stay!
What's wrong with you?
I'm not sure. You?
My mother says I'm depressed and delusional.
My mother used to tell me the same thing.
BOTH: Mothers.
I'll just be one second.
Okay. Okay.
What are you doing here? Are you okay?
I'm having a mental breakdown.
Just choose a wedding dress. You'll feel better.
I'm being followed by a figment of my imagination.
That stalker you called me about?
He says he's my imaginary friend from when I was a little girl.
The thing is, I actually had an imaginary friend when I was little.
And there are things about my childhood, things that there's no way he could know.
He probably found you on Facebook.
I bet he's an actor. He just wants a part in your new play.
You know what? You're probably right.
Okay.
So how are the wedding plans going?
I can't seem to make any decisions. Nothing is perfect.
That's because nothing is perfect.
You just have to find something you like and buy it.
I can't. It's too hard.
You know what they say about people who can't make the little decisions
leading up to the big decision?
Please don't start this again. Hugh is perfect for me.
You've only known him a year.
He proposed to you on latenight television. You couldn't say no.
I didn't wanna say no. I love him.
Okay, okay.
I have to see my next patient. You'd like him.
He arrives with an invisible four-foot tall rabbit named Paul.
Very funny. Very funny.
Bye. Bye.
Jane.
Oh, my God. You have got to stop following me.
If you're an actor and you want an audition, have your agent call the theater.
I don't have an agent. Well, you should get one
because you are freaking me out.
I'm freaked out, too, okay?
I've never been freaked out before, so imagine my surprise.
Jane, Jane, I need you to help me figure out...
Enough, enough, enough, enough. You've got to stop following me.
I left you on your 10th birthday at 5:15, the moment you were born.
I told you I had to leave and you cried when I got into the elevator.
How did you know that?
I'm Michael.
Michael?
Yeah.
What...
Did that hurt?
If "hurt" means my face is on fire and my eyes are watering, then, yeah, it hurt.
I'm really sorry.
It's just, you brought up a painful memory for me.
Michael broke my heart. I cried for weeks when he left.
How can you be Michael?
I don't know. I'm just as surprised that I'm here as you are.
It just doesn't make sense.
I know.
I mean, I get that when I was little,
I was lonely and I needed an imaginary friend.
But now, my life is perfect.
You know, I have a great job, a great apartment.
I'm engaged to a man that most women would die to marry.
And imaginary friends are imaginary. So I got to go to work.
What the hell.
All right, catch me up. Tell me everything that's happened to you since you were 10.
That's like 28 years.
I don't know. I grew up.
This is amazing.
It's a donut.
Hey.
What's the story with those two?
They're making snowflakes for the holiday show.
No, I mean, their secret lives.
I don't really know them.
You don't play the story game anymore?
No. No, no. I'm an adult now. I don't really play any games anymore.
You know, I have a job and a life and places that I have to be.
So, it was great to see you again.
Great in a delusional, out of my mind, "hope to wake up soon" kind of way.
I've missed your sense of humor.
You know what? One more question.
Why didn't you become a pastry chef?
Or a writer? I chose to manage a theater.
Your mother's theater. Yeah.
That wasn't your life's dream. I was 10.
People don't become what they wanted to when they were kids.
Otherwise, all little boys would be firefighters or dump truck drivers,
and all little girls would become Madonna.
I know, but it's...
I grew up.
I'm defending myself to a mirage.
I'm telling you, Peter, it's like she doesn't believe in me anymore.
She acts like she's scared of me or something.
Do you blame her? You scared me, too, showing up all big and human.
It still freaks me out a little. I just don't understand.
Me, neither. You know, it's like I got a foot in both worlds.
You see me. They see me.
I'm really good at this.
Of course you're good. You're, like, 10 feet tall.
So what do I do? I don't know.
I guess you're just gonna have to ride it out and wait for reassignment.
It shouldn't be long. The way the world is right now, we're spread pretty thin.
So, when's her birthday?
That's probably your exit date. You think?
You may be temporarily human, but the rules are rules.
We come when they need us, and we leave on their birthdays.
Her birthday's December 24.
You better figure out what she needs so you can get back to normal.
Right.
I got to go. Okay.
He shows up and just expects me to accept
that he's like this imaginary ghost from my childhood or something.
I mean, that's crazy, right?
I am a logical, rational person.
I mean, I don't drink excessively. I don't do drugs. I pay my taxes on time.
I am obsessive about recycling.
And part of me wants to believe that it really is Michael,
and then there's a part of me that just thinks I should have myself committed.
Do you think I'm losing my mind?
So the producers loved the show tonight. Maury called.
He thinks I'm being considered for the lead role in a feature film, a romantic comedy.
I always knew something like this would happen.
I mean, can you imagine what this will mean for me?
You get one lead role, the rest just follows, and I'm back!
Did you see that was Hugh Morrison? Jane.
You seem like you're miles away.
No, I just had a weird day.
What's the matter? Are you okay?
Yeah. Yeah, I ran into someone today.
Really? Who? Found you. Yes.
You must be Jane's friend.
Hi.
Hugh, this is Michael, my friend from childhood.
And we ran into each other today. That's fantastic.
Hi. Good to see you. Hey.
Can I sit down?
Yeah, of course. Of course, please. Yeah, please do.
Michael, this is Hugh, my fiancé.
So, honey, we should probably look at the menu,
because, you know, if the waitress comes over
and I don't know what I want, that'll send her away,
then it takes 20 minutes for her to come back, and that's a long time, so...
So what do you do?
I'm a friend for children who need a little support.
A teacher. He's a teacher.
A teacher. My mother was a teacher.
That's such a noble profession.
She used to say, "Teaching feeds the soul of a child."
I had a teacher once who inspired me to read the works of Tolstoy and Camus...
Jane. Jane used to read the works of Nancy Drew mysteries.
Michael. Michael, I don't remember you mentioning...
What is your last name?
Friend.
Michael Friend.
You know, we used to call him the Friendster.
Michael Friend is a good name for me.
It's a great name. Yeah.
Finally. We're both gonna have the chicken marsala
with the vegetables instead of the potatoes.
Can you ask them to hurry it, too, please?
Doesn't that come with mushrooms?
I mean, just checking, because I know you... Mushrooms make you throw up.
Yeah, I'm allergic. You are?
Yeah. I didn't know that.
It's okay. I'll just eat around them.
Well, why don't you get something different, that won't make you sick?
Okay, yeah, I will have the spaghetti bolognese.
That sounds great. I'll also do that. Hugh, you wanna change your order, too?
No. Pasta this late at night? No, thank you.
Come on. It gives you energy for later when you guys wrestle around in bed.
She's a tough cookie, am I right or am I right?
Right.
So, Hugh, you're marrying Jane.
Wow, you are so lucky. Tell me what you love about her.
I love...
She's so organized.
You know, she has my whole life on track. She has me on a schedule.
It really works, too.
I mean, she's the reason I got my book done in time.
Well, those are things you can accomplish with a datebook and a clock, though.
What do you love about her?
Michael, I'm not sure I understand your question.
Well, you know, I mean, she's super funny.
Isn't she?
Come on. She's incredibly creative.
I personally love how when she runs and her ponytail just swings from side to side.
It's great.
And you got to love how she sings in her sleep.
You slept together? Well, she doesn't like to sleep alone.
We napped together in kindergarten on a mat.
Michael... Totally innocent.
So, are you married?
No. No. You know, I'm never in one place very long.
My work kind of takes me all over the world, so I'm never sure where I'm gonna be sent.
Dr. Sellars, would you mind signing our menu?
Sure.
Wait, you're a doctor?
No, he's an actor.
An actor?
Well, we must've seen him in one of the million movies we watched together?
Well, Michael, good to meet you. Hope to see you again sometime.
You, too. Thank you for paying for dinner, by the way. I don't have money.
I know. Teachers are so underappreciated.
I mean, when you compare their salaries to what actors make, it's...
I've never needed it until today.
Yeah, right, it's a whole different world.
No, the world is still the same. I'm the one who's changed.
Yeah.
Got you last.
Yeah, okay. Take care.
All right, you, too.
See you later.
He's a handsome guy.
Friendly.
A little odd.
Must've been great to reconnect with him after all these years.
You gonna see him again? No, I don't think so. No.
Knows a lot about you.
Yeah.
I guess he always did.
Thank you.
I got it. Happy holidays to you.
It's a great building. Nice to be so close to the park, huh?
Michael? You're here?
I know.
Okay, look. Listen, if you wanna get in touch with me, here's my business card.
You can call me, okay?
Good night. Great.
Hugh doesn't live with you?
No, Hugh needs his rest when he's doing a play,
and I wake up early, so that wakes him up.
And after we get married, I'm gonna move into his place.
I don't know why I'm telling you this. Good night.
Good night. Sweet dreams. You, too.
Are you sleeping out here?
Yeah, I'll be fine.
It'll be like when we went camping.
We never went camping.
Yes, we did. We made a tent out of sheets on the balcony
and roasted marshmallows in your EasyBake Oven.
Yeah, that was fun.
I liked Hugh. He's wonderful.
I know. I can see why you love him. He's an actor with really white teeth.
That's not why I love him. Good night.
Good night.
Okay, you can stay one night.
He always does this, the super. He leaves me a note. He has a key.
He could just let himself in and fix the shower,
but instead he leaves me a note.
But I guess I have bigger problems than a broken shower.
The whole place could use a paint job, you know?
Sorry about the mess. Hugh keeps promising to help me, but...
You know what? I guess it doesn't really matter.
Not gonna be here much longer.
I couldn't just let you sleep outside, right? It's too cold.
Okay.
You can just sleep on the couch.
Okay.
Michael, why are you here?
The only thing I can figure out is that I must be here to help you.
So what's wrong, Jane?
Nothing. I'm fine. I don't need help.
Great, then I was right. About what?
I always knew you would grow up and become an amazing, beautiful woman.
I'm just glad I get to be here to see it.
That's... So, thank you
for coming all the way back here from magic land. You know?
Sleep well. See you in the morning.
Thanks.
Jane? Yeah?
Proud of you.
No! No!
What are you doing in here?
I thought you might still be afraid of the dark.
Go back into the other room.
Okay.
This isn't happening.
You've had a brain aneurysm.
You're in a coma in the hospital, but your mind is living this nightmare
and just waiting for you to wake up.
Jane. Hi, dear.
There's my girl.
Did you know Mr. Danderford played the clarinet at the Blue Note in the late '50s
and Mrs. Greenberg was a waitress there?
And they've lived down the hall from each other all this time,
and they never put that together.
It's amazing.
So, I see you guys have all met.
Well, finish your coffee. I've got to go to work, okay?
Here's a key. So when you're finished, just lock up and put the key under the mat. Bye.
Mom, do you remember when I was a little girl
and I had an imaginary friend named Michael?
Yeah, do I ever.
I even sent you to Dr. Nussbaum for therapy,
and he told me that I should let you keep your little friend
because he made you happy,
and he was sure that one day he would leave, and thank God he did.
Why?
I just ran into someone that reminds me of him.
Oh, my God, you're having an affair.
Does Hugh know? No, I am not having an affair, Mother.
I just... You know, I ran in...
You know what it is.
It doesn't matter. It's wedding jitters. Buyer's remorse.
You two are perfect together. I know.
Well, as perfect as it can get in this world.
God, that's so cynical.
No, it isn't.
Jane, I just don't want you to miss out.
I waited a long time for Mr. Right and what I got was your father,
a charming, cheating bastard who left us.
Hugh is a wonderful catch and he adores you.
And I love him.
Of course you do.
Martha Stewart's daughter was my assignment for a year
when her mom's company went public and she got really busy.
What do you think?
It's amazing.
I can't believe you did all of this.
Come here.
Your hands are freezing.
And you even put together my TV stand.
And this was all I needed.
No one's ever done anything like this for me before.
Why not?
I don't know.
People have their own lives. They get busy.
What is that smell?
I made you mac and cheese.
I love mac and cheese.
The Adventures of Michael and Jane.
Wow, I haven't looked at this in forever.
I know.
I have something to show you. What?
Go in the bathroom, turn on the shower, and take off your clothes.
What?
No! I can't do that.
"Take off your clothes." I fixed your shower!
I was a friend to a kid whose father was a plumber.
I thought you wanted to...
I wasn't always Don Juan.
I wasn't always an actor, and Hamlet wasn't always my favorite role.
I was first John Sidney Blyth Barrymore,
a young boy with big dreams,
although not always focused on the stage.
Vivian, hi.
I'm sorry that I misjudged you.
Jane says you've really grown into a better mother.
Thank you. Yeah.
Who are you?
Michael. Well, you used to call me the delusion, remember?
You were probably just trying to protect Jane from love
because you'd been so hurt.
You weren't being mean. You were simply misguided.
It's okay. I forgive you.
I live between polite society and the bordello.
It wasn't until 1903 that I made my debut as a thespian.
And by 1905,
I was firmly implanted in the London stage.
The theater was my salvation when television became redundant, you know.
But film is the dream. It keeps me reaching inside.
You know what I mean? Excuse me.
Hi. Hi.
This is a surprise. Michael's here. Yeah.
I'm not sure I like you spending so much time with the other guy.
Oh, stop. He's just an old friend.
You are the love of my life.
Who? You.
Sorry, I just get a little jealous.
You were wonderful, by the way.
Thanks, man. You're an amazing actor.
Thank you, man. I really believed you were a doctor.
He actually wasn't a doctor. He wasn't playing a doctor.
Well, you were stupendous tonight.
Thank you, Vivian.
You know you would've gotten a standing ovation if the audience
wasn't riveted to their seats by your performance.
You look great. Thank you.
Yeah. My daughter's a lucky woman.
Aren't you, honey? Yes, I am.
Come on, someone wants to meet you.
Hugh is really talented. I know.
Your mother's the same as she always was.
I know.
Morning.
Hi. Going to work?
No, the theater's dark on Mondays.
Great. What do you wanna do today?
Want to go to the museum?
Or, you know, maybe we could just stay home?
I have a very full day.
I have a wedding to plan.
I'm just...
I'm just gonna get dressed now.
Right.
Do you want me to...
I'll just...
So, it's been three months and you've narrowed it down to these seven.
With Christmas orders piling up, I really need you to make a decision
on what direction you wanna go. I know. I know.
I just don't think that I can choose yet.
And they're all beautiful. It's just that Hugh is very particular,
and everything has to be perfect.
You want that one.
This one? Yeah.
Yeah, pink and green are your favorite colors,
and roses remind you of your Grandma Rose.
Yeah, you're right. I'll take this one.
Wonderful.
You should bring your fiancé with you on all your appointments.
He's not my fiancé.
He's just a good friend.
You must like boys. Am I right?
I like girls and boys. Yeah.
Wow. Chocolate is... No. There are no words for chocolate.
New words will have to be invented for this experience.
And the strawberry. Strawberry tastes like summer afternoons
when you've been outside playing and swimming all day,
and then you come inside, and you're hungry and thirsty.
Strawberry.
It's clouds of awesome.
This is the one!
Let's go to the dress shop next. I've narrowed it down to six dresses.
I already know the one.
I still don't know why we're here.
Do you remember the first play we went to?
Of course. It was my favorite. One Special Night.
That's my dress.
You said that the first night you saw it, when the actor stepped out on stage in it.
Come on.
Wow.
You look beautiful.
I do?
Thanks.
What just happened?
We kissed. No, we didn't.
That just didn't happen. That was wonderful.
How could it be wonderful if it never happened?
That was our first kiss. It was our last kiss.
They say you never forget your first kiss.
Forget it, okay?
Oh, my God.
It did happen, but it was a horrible mistake, and it can never happen again.
It was an accident. Exactly.
I just tripped and fell on your lips.
Michael, I'm serious right now. That can never happen again.
Yeah, we'll avoid it at all cost.
I'm about to marry Hugh Morrison, okay? A man that I love very, very much.
I believe you.
No, I'm not trying to convince you, you know? It's a fact.
It's just I was very excited because we found the dress,
and so, you know, stuff happened, and it didn't mean anything at all.
It was just a kiss between old friends.
Right. Right.
So we're clear. Just friends. Best friends.
Okay. You need to stop following me.
Hey, Paul. How's it going? Good to see you.
Who's this?
Hi, Nathan. I'm Michael. Hi.
Wait, you can see Paul?
Sure. Yes!
I knew he was real.
Wait. Who are you talking to? Who is Paul?
He's an imaginary.
Right.
For a second there, I thought you were talking to an empty chair, so...
No.
Hi. You can't keep showing up like this.
I do have patients.
Nathan's fine. He's sitting out there with an invisible boy named Paul
and my imaginary friend, Michael.
Okay, now you're scaring me.
Ask me what I did today.
I chose my cake, I chose my flowers,
and my wedding dress all within the last three hours.
Why? Because I had Michael with me.
Great. It's crazy, isn't it?
Well, I don't know if it's crazy or not,
but your eyes do light up every time you talk about Michael.
No, they don't. Yeah, they do.
You have this twinkle... No. Okay, I kissed him.
I kissed him, yeah. So he found the dress,
and I was really happy, and he thought I looked beautiful, and...
And?
And we kissed, and now it's over.
So you're still in human limbo, I see.
It's so weird. Everyone's talking about it.
Every imaginary should do it at least once.
Feelings are so much bigger than we thought.
Your kid gets picked last for baseball, and we tell him it's nothing.
It's not nothing. It hurts.
That cute guy out there is your Michael?
No, he is not my Michael, he's just Michael, a good friend.
He's living with you. He's one door away, sleeping naked on a white sheet.
How do you stand it? How do you know he sleeps naked?
That's how I picture him.
Okay, stop. Just stop.
I love Hugh. Hugh is a wonderful man, and I am the luckiest girl in the world.
All I know is if I had a man who looked at me like that,
I would never get out of bed.
Hugh looks at me like that.
Hugh looks at himself like that.
That was fun. So what's next?
Nothing. We got everything. The cake, the flowers, the dress.
Nice. Let's celebrate.
Martini, olives. Crazy week.
For you?
Martini, olives. Crazy week.
That's great music.
Jane and I love to dance. No, we don't.
Are you kidding me?
You used to dance in front of the mirror all the time.
Like a Virgin. The song Like a Virgin.
(SONG U CAN'T TOUCH THIS BEGINS)
No way. Are you kidding? What time is it?
I don't know.
Jane.
Hammer time. It's Hammer time!
He's not from around here.
Can't believe this is happening.
That was amazing. Awesome.
(APPLAUSE)
Look at them. What a sweet couple.
Probably been together for 50 years. Yeah.
It looks that way,
but the truth is, they just met an hour ago in yoga class.
Really? Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, they've been seeing each other for years.
But, you know, a little yoga class here, a meditation group there.
This is the first time they ever talked to each other.
Why today?
Well, because today is Evelyn's birthday.
And she is planning on spending the entire weekend in a nudist colony.
Name? Of the nudist colony? The Bare Inn.
Wow. Yeah.
Do you think he'll go with her? I do, actually. I do.
Because it's also Phil's birthday.
Yeah. And they will quickly realize that the best way to spend their birthdays
is in their birthday suits.
Excellent.
So Hugh's gonna pick me up for the book signing.
And I don't know if you're gonna go out.
So are you?
Am I what? Gonna go out?
I don't think so.
I don't know. I wasn't really planning on it.
Don't know a lot of people here, so...
Right.
You'll be okay? Yeah, sure.
Hey.
I do not want to have a pillow fight.
You're kidding me.
I have always wanted a pillow fight!
Hi, honey. What's going on?
Nothing. I've been calling you all day.
Yeah, we went out. We were planning our wedding.
Our wedding, not our wedding.
Right.
I don't understand why he's still here.
He's got nowhere else to go.
Hugh, he's just a friend. You have no reason to be jealous.
Jealous? No, I'm not jealous.
Excuse me if I don't want my wife living with another man!
I'm not your wife yet. And keep your voice down. He can hear you.
He's using you.
He is not using me.
Really? Why did he show up now?
After all these years, right when you're about to marry a famous actor?
What does he want?
You're so naive.
You know, people, they take advantage of you all the time,
like those old people that guilt you into running their errands for them.
They're my neighbors.
You care about this guy so much that you're gonna let him come in between us?
No. No, of course not.
He's just got no place else to stay.
I don't care! He's got no job, no life.
I just feel sorry for him. I don't care about him at all.
Ten minutes, then I'm gone.
I didn't mean it in that way.
But?
But Hugh's my future.
He's going to be my husband.
Right.
Look, Michael, you and I have fun together. But this is not real.
You know, I can't risk what I have with Hugh.
I just can't.
He's my future.
Yeah, you already said that. Well, I'm saying it again.
And this is all very easy for you, you know?
You have no consequences here.
I get it. No. No, you don't.
You know, this is my life.
Okay? I have responsibilities.
I'm not this little girl anymore with an imaginary friend.
I grew up.
Everybody has to grow up, Michael.
Everybody but you.
I haven't seen her in three days. I miss her so much.
We don't miss our kids. We care for them,
help them be their best selves and then we leave.
I know, I know. I just wanna make her happy.
It isn't your job to make her happy.
I wish I could stay, you know, and be a part of her life.
I could learn to live in her world,
take on responsibilities and be a grown up.
Have you lost your mind?
No! I only have until her birthday to show her I've changed.
This isn't about you. She's happy. She's getting married. Your job is done.
Just go home.
But... No "buts," Michael.
If you don't show up at an exit station the moment you're supposed to leave,
who knows what could happen?
You could disappear, cease to exist.
Don't do it.
I don't have a lot of experience, but I'm great with people.
I'm trustworthy, and I'm there when you need me.
So why do you wanna work here?
I like food, and it's the responsible thing to do.
That's a good answer.
That's more than I can say about my prima donna head chef there, Gerard.
Comes in late, attitude sucks.
(SIGHS)
Can you wash dishes? Yeah.
I'm just glad that you finally realized that your friend,
Michael, was just using you.
Well, I don't think he was using me, per se.
Okay, whatever.
Look, it was great to see him, but it was time for him to go home.
I agree.
So, I think I wanna write again.
Writing what?
I don't know.
Maybe a children's story or something.
Honey, I know what this is. What?
Well, I was almost nominated for a Tony Award,
and I'm gonna be in a big movie,
and, you know, my book's gonna be a bestseller.
It's okay for you to feel a little insecure.
No, that's not what it is at all. I just always wanted to be a writer.
Well, you never mentioned it before.
When I was 10 years old, I decided that I wanted to be a writer,
but then fear and judgment got in the way as I grew older,
and now... I remember when I was 10.
I had a dream.
I wanted to be president of the Screen Actors Guild.
Are you getting sick?
No, but if I were, wouldn't you want to take care of me?
And risk both of us being sick?
You ever missed a girl?
I mean, really missed her.
Right.
She's just so pretty, but beautiful and fun and cool.
So where is this fun girl, huh?
I don't know. Not a little girl anymore.
You know, she goes places and she does stuff.
I'll have another one.
I think maybe you've had enough, huh?
Okay.
Maybe you should call this girl,
tell her how you feel.
Hi, Jane, it's Michael.
I got a job washing dishes at Sam's Restaurant and Bar in SoHo.
I just wanted to call and say hi,
see how you were doing.
I miss you.
Hi, Jane, it's Michael.
What is this?
It's macaroni and cheese and...
Rice Krispies treats.
Is this a joke?
No, it's comfort food.
No, this is sugar, and this is carbs.
I can't eat this. I got to stay in shape. I know.
I'm auditioning for a feature film. It's the most important time in my life.
And marrying you.
You know what? It's fine. It's fine. Look.
What harm could a few carbs do, right?
I'm not that hungry anyway.
Do you want to go outside and build a snowman?
It's 20 degrees.
You wanna go outside and build a snowman?
Are you kidding? No.
It'll be fun.
This is the kind of stuff you and Michael used to do, right?
I just want to be happy.
We are happy.
We have everything that we want.
This is what happy looks like.
I still have no idea what to get Hugh for Christmas.
What's he getting you?
Skis. We're going to Colorado, skiing for our honeymoon.
You hate to ski.
Well, not completely and totally.
Michael would love this scarf.
I'm gonna get it for him. I thought you didn't know where he was.
He left me a message telling me where he works.
You have no idea what to get Hugh for Christmas,
yet Michael, no problem.
You should go see him, tell him how you feel.
No, that's not fair to Hugh. I'll just send the scarf to Michael.
Fair? Hugh is in California surrounded by beautiful actresses.
So?
So nothing. I'm just saying...
Excuse me. Excuse me. Hi.
I was hoping you could help me with something.
It's gonna be about an hour wait.
Sorry, Christmas special. We're giving out free cookies with every meal.
I'm actually looking for someone.
His name is Michael. I think he's the dishwasher here.
You mean Michael, the chef?
Jane. Yeah.
You're Jane?
Yeah.
That Jane?
Yeah, I guess so. Thank you.
Jane, hey.
Hi. Hi.
I just wanted to stop by and see how you're doing.
Yeah, well, let's grab a seat. Okay.
I brought you a little Christmas present.
Thank you. Yeah.
I love it. This is great.
How are you? I'm well.
Look at you.
You're this huge success.
Well, thanks to you.
The chef quit, so I took your suggestion.
My suggestion? Yeah.
You said you'd rather eat mac and cheese than anything else,
so I made mac and cheese, grilled cheese, tomato soup, Tater Tots.
Those were my favorite foods when I was little.
I know. They're every kid's favorite foods.
It turns out people like to be reminded of their childhood.
Michael, hi. Hey.
The girls certainly do love you.
You'll always be my girl.
How's Hugh? He's great. He's great.
The wedding's coming up soon. He flew to California for an audition.
Really?
He'll be back in time for the wedding.
Okay, so the wedding's still on.
Michael, are you coming out for drinks later?
Yeah, I'll be there.
Fun.
Yeah, we all go for drinks at this place after work.
You should come with us.
It's late.
I should go home. No, right. Right.
Well, it was great to see you.
You, too.
I'm really happy for you.
Thank you.
Am I gonna see you again?
I don't know. You know, I hope so.
Merry Christmas, Jane.
Merry Christmas, Michael.
Got you last.
After you left, I used to spend hours thinking about you.
I just kept looking for you, and I kept hoping that you would come back.
At some point,
it just became too painful to think about you anymore,
so I just pretended that you weren't important to me.
And I shut down.
It's easier not to feel anything about anything.
But I don't want to do that anymore.
I want to lie here with you forever.
I love you, Jane.
Michael?
Hi. Hi. Hey.
Got us some breakfast.
I thought you left.
I think we should talk.
Later.
There's something I have to tell you.
I already know.
You do?
Yeah, and I love you, too.
Come on.
These have been the most perfect days of my life.
Mine, too.
What? What is it?
I have to go back, Jane.
You're leaving?
I don't want to.
Then don't.
I have to. I don't have a choice.
Why did you do this?
Why did you come here and build this life for yourself here?
Why did you let me fall in love with you when you knew you were leaving?
Michael, I trusted you.
Jane, falling in love with you has been the best,
the best thing I've ever experienced. You don't know what love is,
otherwise you wouldn't be leaving me right now.
Jane... No.
The first time that you left me,
I swore that I would never forget you.
This time, I promise you
I will not spend one more moment of my life thinking about you.
I don't ever want to see you again.
God, I feel like I'm dying.
You're not dying. It's a broken heart.
Why does it hurt so much?
It just means you're human.
Owen.
I want you to make sure that every guest gets one of these theater schedules.
People always like something to read during dinner.
Why, you're early. Oh, God.
I'm sorry. People magazine.
Welcome, welcome. I'm Vivian Claremont,
mother of the bride and owner of the Claremont Theater,
where the groom, Hugh Morrison,
is currently performing in Barrymore Speaks,
Tuesday through Saturday and two shows on Sunday.
Darren, make sure he has a good seat right up front.
No, no. No carnations. More roses.
Thank you.
You sure you want to do this?
Of course.
It's not too late, you know. You can still walk away.
No, this is the right decision.
Hugh is a good man.
Darling, you look beautiful.
Thank you. So do you.
I know. It's going to be a perfect Christmas Eve wedding in New York City.
And the place is crawling with paparazzi.
Jackie, is that for me?
Cheers, everyone. ALL: Cheers.
The right choice isn't always the best choice, Jane.
You look so beautiful. Thank you.
I can't wait for our honeymoon.
New Year's on the slopes. I'm so excited.
I don't like to ski.
Sure you do. No. No, I don't.
You don't?
You never told me that before.
Yeah, I did. You just didn't listen.
What's my favorite color?
Now? Yes, right now.
Blue.
No, that's your favorite color.
What's my favorite flower?
Orchid. No.
You always send me orchids, but, really, that's your mother's favorite flower.
My favorite are yellow roses. And Michael knew that.
That's what this is about?
Listen, Michael's not here. I am.
No, it's not about Michael. Michael's gone. It's about you and me.
Look, I forgive you, okay?
For the whole Michael thing. I wasn't perfect, either.
Let's just get married.
Let's get married.
I can't do this. What?
I'm sorry. What? What?
I know what love feels like, and this is not it.
Jane, Jane...
Where are you going? I don't love him, Mother.
You love him enough. It's not enough.
This may be your last chance for happiness and security.
I have to find Michael.
Jane.
If you do this, you'll be ruining this day forever.
Christmas Eve, your birthday, will always be the day that you ruined your life.
Jane.
My birthday. What time is it?
I got to go.
Fifteen minutes till the moment I was born!
But I'm gonna be a big star.
Here. Merry Christmas! What do I do with these?
That's a great choice.
Thank you so much. You're welcome. Happy holidays.
Can I help you, sir?
No, thank you.
I'm done here.
Michael!
I love you so much.
I've always loved you.
You are my soul mate, my one true love.
I've always loved you, too.
Loving you has been the best part of my life,
and I'm gonna miss you forever.
Stay with me.
I can't.
What am I supposed to do without you?
They're perfect for each other.
Michael?
She's an Olympic swimmer, and he's an underwater tuba player.
I thought you had to leave.
I couldn't go.
I don't understand.
When you were a little girl, I came to you because you needed me.
I came back because I need you.
I don't exist without you.
What about the rules?
Some rules were made to be broken.
I wanted to get you something
that is as special and unique as you are.
That is my ring.
I love you, Michael.
I love you, Jane.
Did you say an underwater tuba player?
Would I make that up?
And then what happened?
Well, she met him when she fell off a cruise ship.
That's how they met. She was doing a high dive,
and she overshot the pool.